Hi there long time no blogging as you may have noticed I know it’s been a while so here I am again about to pick up where we left off. I have to admit this year has been very challenging for me and I honestly don’t know how I would have made it this far without my Greatest GOD.
This year alone I was robbed twice, first at the house I lived in away from home to be closer to school, then my car was jacked in my own yard back home which was unfortunately is not insured and so costing me a great expense to fix and hopefully sell later which are both yet to happen. I fortunately was not there for both incidents but even with I have to admit I was traumatised for a while.
I also lost three important people in my life, of whom I once knew, firstly Thabo Mankge who committed suicide for reasons unknown to this day, and then my former campus mate Thobeka who was indeed a very good friend to me died in car accident. I also lost my next door friend’s grandmother who too was a grandmother to me, she was the most loving, caring grandmother I ever knew of whom I will mostly miss her smile which just lit up her face and brought such joy when you were in her presence and she always said the nicest things to me which made me feel better and good about myself which made all my flaws disappear. I think what hurts me the most is that I wish I spent a lot more time with them but instead I was too preoccupied with my hectic final year of studies that I forgot how important it is to appreciate people while they are still alive never taking them for granted and in that, family and friendships are very important to me because once they are gone you can’t get them back and what a tragic it is.
Speaking of friendships this year I have lost some friends over a lot of things I would rather not get into details about. Unfortunately as someone once told me that in life you can’t always keep the friends you have, some will like you of which you keep at a arms length or eventually cut off and some will love you and those are the ones you unfortunately realise how good they were to you much later but you can still get them back whilst they are still alive and if they allow. At the end of the day I think my mistake was not expressing my opinions clearly or at all which hurt me more in the process because in the end I was on my own and was alone and felt like nobody cared. I think my not sharing my opinions was because I didn’t think I would be heard, understood or would feel like I had to defend myself all the time and so with that nothing was ever fixed.
But with all that being said and done after all the fighting the losses and tears shed, life went on and I had no choice but to move on with it, even though many times I felt as if God was not there, I was hurt so much that I couldn’t even pray or sing about it. But somehow God heard me and saved me from self destruction. With all these experiences, I am still learning these lessons of life of which we are like tests we were never prepared for but hopefully with wisdom we learn and grow and become stronger than ever.
I am currently waiting for my final results and I still have to do my two week internship before graduation. I have applied for some good jobs which are good career starters and which will help me in providing me the capital to start my own business on the side. It is also my last chance by next year where I definitely hope to join the South African Navy considering my age. Even though it’s been a long time coming, my success in near for I hear it calling my name, I’m not sure where I’m heading but I know I’m going forward.
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